Kidnapped by Neptune

hi im andy and im a vegan goon
I am the androgynous lizard ruler
i do a lot of crafts and my band is the Royal Lizards
pronouns they/them/their please
also PLEASE DON'T CALL ME IT i'll probably cry a lot. also please don't touch me randomly if you see me on the street i'll also cry im very bad with physical contact and i need to give you consent before you play with my hair or hug me please and thank you.

  1. Lizard Ruler

Dear straight/white/cis/het/men;

dynastylnoire:

stfueverything:

You are not oppressed. You could be discriminated for being straight/white/cis/het but you are not oppressed. I don’t care if “certain cultures” in “certain countries” can oppress you. Because if you have to go to some tiny corner of the world in order to be “oppressed”, you’re not oppressed at all.

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(via rapunzelie)

suzuharatoji:

please look at this picture of michelle obama and sportacus

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(via montypythonandtheholyblog)

are you gay?
straight people:wHAT?! NO! WHAT THE HELL OF COURSE NOT! I MEAN IM COOL WITH GAY PEOPLE BUT NO!!!
gay people:hella
pan/bi/poly people:ish?
are you straight?
straight people:YES????? WHAT ELSE WOULD I BE???? DO I LOOK GAY???? IS IT MY SHIRT????
gay people:nah
pan/bi/poly people:ish?

officialunitedstates:

  • The tension in an astronaut’s tether as they slowly move further from the ship
  • 16,000 bees being born in your neighborhood every hour
  • The 74 ex-soviet nuclear bombs currently unaccounted for
  • That important thing you have to do by next Friday

(via aliengang64)

ratchet-jean:

casspie:

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You spin me right round baby

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Right round like a record baby

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Right round round round

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everyone is dead

(via modestdemidov)

ex0skeletal:

Fun shark attack facts:

  • In 1996, toilets injured 43,000 Americans a year. Sharks injured 13.
  • In 1996, 2,600 Americans were injured by room fresheners. Sharks injured 13.
  • In 1996, buckets and pails injured almost 11,000 Americans. Sharks injured 13.
  • For every human killed by a shark, humans kill approximately two million sharks.

Conclusions:

  1. Humans are assholes.
  2. Sharks are not assholes.
  3. Apparently everyone in 1996 lived in a real-life infomercial.

(via lettucenot)

lilacwinelover3000:

dont the wholocks want to fuck phone booths

(via unclefather)

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